Heal Yourself by Forgiving Others

Heal Yourself by Forgiving Others

Healing can take place only after you decide to forgive.
Forgiving does not mean you excuse or condone bad behavior. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness and move on.

 Well as the saying goes," To Err is Human and to Forgive is Divine " is probably what most of us strive to do, which isn't easy..

We humans certainly do err and err big! Being mere mortals means we will step on toes, hurt others, and sometimes do permanent damage. Our feelings run deep and our emotions can get the best of us. I think what is all boils down to is poor communication. That's probably why we have bad neighbors, bad relationships, border disputes, wars...etc.

We humans ,with our advanced technology and infinite pool of knowledge,still make a lot of mistakes. And mistakes do cause hurt,anger and distrust. That's where forgiveness come in.

It's not very likely that one will forgive a person that physically hurts us or emotionally betrays us, when we are young. As time goes on and we have endured so many misunderstandings and problems with other people,it comes down to learning to forgive,or let those ill feelings fester . The only one you will punish is yourself,by harboring ill will towards others.

I know this sounds so easy, but it takes practice and a confidence in yourself. If you truly like and love yourself, no one can hurt you for very long.

I'm not saying that there isn't any hurt or anger when one does an injustice; it will probably sting and hurt for a short time. The trick to healing is to forgive the other party and move on.

Some people practice meditation, to get in touch with themselves and to eliminate bad feelings.
Others may take to the gym to work out their emotions and get the endorphins going.
Still others seek out treatment for addictions or psychotherapy to work out childhood issues that have plagued them through adulthood.


Infidelity is a major source of pain for couples. The fact that one partner would stray and cheat creates such a huge pain and causes major distrust issues.
Betrayal of a loved one's trust is probably the worst event in a relationship. It takes a long time to work out the hurt and anger. Many times the relationship can be saved if both sides are committed to working it out.
The best advice for the one that is betrayed is to build their self esteem. Having a good sense of yourself and self worth is a good foundation to feeling better.
There are those who teach that you become more grateful after a relationship has needed. That may take some tie to learn,though.

Forgiving Betrayals

Feeling betrayed isn't limited to a loved one; it can hurt just as much from friends. If you had a childhood friend and they started to ignore you once you both entered high school, it will certainly be painful. This is a common scenario and part of growing up. It also continues when we become adults.
Best friends can betray us because we are emotionally tied to them. We are vulnerable to the whims and actions of those that are close to us. Having them betray that trust can be devastating.
Neighbors and co-workers betray our trust all the time. We are living in a world of gossip and instant fame. Posting a secret about your neighbor or co-worker instantly wreaks havoc; sometimes for the rest of their lives.
With all the technology available,one needs to keep your guard up and not reveal too much. What a world we live in today!

Self Esteem Issues

Many of us grew up with self esteem issues and a lack of confidence. When you don't have confidence in yourself to be happy alone, it sets the stage for future problems. Often times women and some men, will stay in a relationship much longer than they should. This may stem from the fear of abandonment stemming from childhood. If adults were not around when you needed them or you witnessed poor role modelling by your significant adults in your life, you may not have the confidence in yourself.
Being secure with yourself and not being overly concerned with social pressures to be with just anyone is a lesson many adults learn very late in life. Family and societal pressures to have a relationship, even if they are wrong for you, erodes self esteem and confidence.
The task at hand is to learn to build your feelings of self worth. It may require one to move away from the family or social pressures. I know women that moved across country to start anew. Re inventing yourself is a good start to break free of past feeling of failure.

Why Forgive

Forgiveness really is about "letting go'" , that is, stopping the hurt or angry feelings that guides their actions,and thoughts most of the time. We all have heard of,or know of those who are always angry. They seem to be angry at the world, often complaining about what others have done to them or how they are always wronged.
This is pointless. If you need to forgive,then forgive yourself first and move on. You are not perfect. Don't beat yourself up and then others, because you are unhappy.
Seek help in one form or another. Give your self permission to forgive and start healing.
Here are some sources for quotes on forgiveness.I hope they help answer the question,"What is forgiveness?"
Quotes to live by:
Doc Childre and Howard Martin, from The HeartMath Solution quoted:
  • Take it slowly. "The deepest resentments are wrapped up in a lot of hurt and pain. We think we're protecting ourselves by not forgiving. Acknowledge that and go easy on yourself. Forgiveness means that you've decided not to let it keep festering inside even if it only comes up once in a while. Forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging tool that will support and honor you, even in the most extreme circumstances."
  • "always forgive your enemies-nothing annoys them so much "-Oscar Wilde
  • "To forgive is the highest ,most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness " Robert Muller
  • "When you hold resentment toward another,you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free " Catherine Ponder
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness and release your pain and anger. You are not encouraging the bad behavior of another, but helping yourself instead.

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